The Power Position

Where you stand in a group can be seen by WHERE you stand in the group. Positioning yourself is one of those very important, yet often overlooked body language things. Women can SEE a guy that has the alpha traits in the way they stand, carry themselves, sit, walk, and yes, position themselves in the group. It's on a subconscious level, but yet a woman can look at these things and say "He's got it, but that guy doesn't." Positioning is a small, but important part of that.

What you want to do is put yourself in the "Power Position". All groups of all sizes have a spot that is seen as the "Center" of attention. (Although it's not always AT the center) Example: If there are two women at a bar, you want to place yourself between them and the bar, with your back to the bar, and assume the "Alpha stance" If you come up behind the ladies and they don't want to talk, all they have to do is turn around, and you've been cut out! But, if you are between them and the bar, if they don't want to talk, they have to LEAVE the bar, and they lose the power position.

I spent some time in several clubs over the last weekend and noticed a few things about the dance floor. That's what prompted this thread. There is also a Power Position on the dance floor. Let's take a group of 4 ladies dancing together. Most likely, they've all come out together for a night on the town. Without guys around for protection, they are forced to protect each other. How do they do that? By keeping a nice, tight-nit, closed circle, dancing with each other. This makes it VERY difficult for a guy to approach. He must come up from BEHIND one of the women, and in doing so is kept on the outside of the circle. If one of the girls (Especially the one he's dancing with) doesn't talk to him, he's shut out. He'll leave shortly. Women KNOW this. It's part of the protection they give one another.

You can avoid this by doing several things. First, after 1 song of dancing, you need to turn her around. Everyone I saw that tried to do this by putting his hands on her hips was shot down. The ones that were successful were guys that turned the lady around by touching her elbows. Once she's around, it tends to break up the group. It doesn't always happen, but in short order, one of the girls has no partner to dance with and provide cover. As the group starts to break up, you need to very deftly (and quickly) slide into the center of the group. Speed is important here. The "Gap" in the group will only open for about 10-15 seconds before it closes again. The Center is the power position. It's where you want to be. Once you're there, it's almost impossible for them to break you out without them leaving. (Just like at the bar)

While you're in the middle, you need to be sure to dance with EVERY girl in the group. Don't exclude anyone, or girlfriend cockblocking will ensue. (They'll drag off the girl your dancing with) Again, it's part of the protection they give each other. But by making sure you're giving everyone a little attention and not concentrating on one girl, they won't feel as exposed or threatened. Talking is almost impossible on the dance floor beyond a few words. Dont' worry about talking. Let your dancing speak for you. At some point ONE of the girls will start making more overt IOI's and become the chaser. From there, just isolate and do your thing.

There is ALWAYS a power position in any group. Knowing where that is and maneuvering yourself to be in that position will increase your success with women. (And the guys if it's a mixed group) More on this subject later as I find out and test things in the field....

-Blade

Be a Man and LEAD her to the Bedroom

Women want to be lead to the Bedroom, not the other way around. If she has to lead, it means she's a slut. No Woman wants to be known (or even think of herself) as a slut. Besides, it's not the natural order of the universe. Women have this fantasy....A Knight in shining armor, Prince Charming, a real Man's Man that sweeps them off their feet and takes them, ravishing their bodies from top to bottom, captivating their senses, and enchanting their demeanor.

So how do you Lead a woman to the bedroom? There are many steps to the game of love. Think of it like a dance. If you don't do correctly, a Woman KNOWS! It's not so much about saying the right things, or even doing the right things. It is about NOT making a mistake, about NOT missing the right step at the right time. You can take plenty of time in courting a woman, doing things that aren't wrong, and still be successful. But as soon as you do make a wrong turn, or step on her feet, or show in any way you have no idea what you're doing, it's over.

You must be a MAN when courting a woman. Be The Dominant one. Be ALPHA. I'm telling you to be the guy who gets laid. That guy is confident in what he's doing. He knows that he's going to get laid, because he knows he's an alpha male. He knows that women and people in general want to be with him. He doesn't worry what others think about him, or whether he's doing the right thing. He takes control of a situation with authority. He Dominates! He knows he's fun to be with because he is always having a good time and therefore he IS fun to be with. He knows that if he is in a group of guys and girls, he will be the one the girls choose to be with, and by having this to be the expected outcome, it is a self-fufilling profecy.

I'm not telling you to be an asshole. Most guys see girls with 'Jerks' and assume they have to be as well. This is simply not true. Jerks do get laid, but not because they are jerks, but because they are the dominant ones. Women, by nature, are NOT dominant. They don't want to be dominant. When a guy takes them out, buys them gifts, and supplicates, he's telling the woman "I'm putting you in the dominant position. You can have the power. I'll do anything for you as long as you give me acceptance." Nothing turns a woman off faster!

When I go after a woman, I let her know it! I prefer direct approaches because they work. If you don't state your interest early, a woman assumes one of two things: Either 1) you are not interested in her, or 2) you aren't man enough to let her know it, even though she already does. Girls don't like shy guys that hold their feelings inside. Quiet guys worry them. Quiet guys are hiding something. Quiet guys are not honest with them. People in general are not scared of "Loud" folks. They tell you exactly what's up, and usually have fun doing it. It's the quiet guy in the corner that will turn into a stalker. Don't be the quiet guy.

-Blade

Three "Nevers" of Dating

These are three things I Never do on dates.

1. I NEVER buy Dinner. I LAUGH at women who expect the guys to pay for everything when they go out. Any guy that does pay for everything isn't a guy, he's a supplicating Pussy! He's trying to buy his way into your pants. Any REAL MAN doesn't have to do that. He's got girls lining up to date him, and if one expects him to pay, then she can leave! Makes you wonder why they can't keep a man around, if they expect him to pay for everything. That's because he's not a man. I've got too many women lined up behind you that will GLADLY buy me dinner. Now I'm not saying I'm a cheap bastard, because I almost always pay for the activities on the date, but I'm not paying for food on top of that. (My dates would cost 80-100 dollars each, and I go out several times a week) The exception to this rule: If you pay for the activities, I'll buy dinner. (Switching the roles)

2. I NEVER Buy/Get Drinks. What do I look like, a bartender? Go get your own drink WOMAN! I'm not wasting my good money to get you drunk so you can go fuck some other guy that didn't buy you a drink. (And you will, because if I buy a drink, I'm a supplicating pussy, and you know your using me anyway) My exception to this one is if you buy me a drink first, I'll reciprocate.

3. I NEVER stand for a girl to talk on a cell-phone on a date. You are there to be with ME. Not talk to someone on the phone. If I'm not that important to you, then I'll leave. (And leave you in the restaurant to find your own way home) I don't care who it is. If it's work calling, what the hell are you doing answering the phone when your out on a date at NIGHT? What boss calls you at night about work? If it's another guy....what the hell are you talking to them for? Want to talk, then go date HIM. I'm leaving. If it's one of your girlfriends, they should know already that you are out on a date. (Or they wouldn't be your girlfriend) NO EXCUSES!! PERIOD!! My ONLY exception to this rule is if Mom/Dad calls. If it's your great Aunt twice removed on your mom's side, she can wait until you're back home. If you pick up the phone, I pick up and leave.

If you can't deal with these things, then you're never gonna find a real man. You'll always be dating a "Nice Guy". And we all know how those turn out --The "Friend Zone"

-Blade

First Impressions

Bearing and First Impressions

When you meet someone for the first time, within the first 20 seconds, that person has made certain judgements about you. We all do it, and women are especially good at doing this. This is one reason stereotypes are as powerful as they are, and why they are extremely difficult to overcome.

According to a recent study from Yale University, there are 4 things ALL people judge you on within those first crucial 20 seconds. In order of strength and importance they are:

1. Sex
2. Skin Color
3. Age
4. Bearing

Now the first three, nobody can do anything about. But they do cloud our judgement of others. Are you talking to a man or a woman? Believe it or not, it matters. Most people behave differently around members of the opposite sex. Next is skin color. This is an age-old problem, and being the irrational creatures we are, one of the easiest and fastest ways of making people "different" is to look at skin color. There's nothing anyone can do about it, and in today's society, it is becoming less important, but it's still number 2 on the list. Then there is age. It makes a difference whether you are chatting with an 18 year old, or a 40 year old. They have different experiences. They most likely are members of a different generation. Youth have uncorrupted values and ideals. An older person knows that the world is not idealistic, but rather hard and unforgiving. Lastly comes the thing I want to really talk about: Bearing.

Bearing is the thing that women are REALLY good at judging from the onset. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, all people have you sized up in 15 seconds or less. They've already made their judgement about what kind of person you are based on those 4 things. But what is bearing? Let me ask a few questions and you tell me. How do you stand? How do you walk? Do you speak well? Are you well groomed? Do you have straight teeth? Are you wearing nice shoes? These (and other) small and subtle things all play a part in letting a woman know whether you are a man of quality. If you display the proper bearing, or if you are a submissive type, she's already made her decision about you. (for good or bad) Bearing has the unfortunate position of being 4th on the list, so it is the last thing people look at in their first impression. But, it also has the ability to overpower the predispositions and prejudices of the previous three. If your bearing is strong, and your personality congruent with it, attraction will almost always happen, regardless of your age or skin color.

So how do you improve your bearing? This is most certainly an inner-game issue. Are you confident in who you are? Do you display the proper attributes of an Alpha male? Do you have strength of character?Do you have Power, or are you a chump? It has taken you your entire life with all of its experiences to form you into the person you are today. Changing your bearing takes a while to undo the ingrained patterns and habits that have taken you a lifetime to build. Don't expect it to happen overnight. But it can happen; Slowly, deliberately changing the things you do to make your person into a new you.

-Blade

The Power of Pivots

The Power of Pivots

Pivot: noun; A Woman you bring along with you when you go out to attract other women.

Sometimes its funny how women think. Or more acurately, how women act and react to a given situation that is often totally contradictory to what they "Say" they want. A great example of this is the "Nice Guy" that almost all women say they want. But women don't fall for nice guys. They fall for the tough, masculine men. (this is different from 'jerks')

But what do women look for besides a tough man? Women go for guys with high social status. (See my article on Power) Pivots are a great way to display high social status. This explains the phenomenon that happens when guys have a girlfriend and every girl around them wants them too. But when they're single, they can't get the time of day from these same women. It's the simple fact that having a girlfriend is social proof that you are high status. (She must know, or she wouldn't be with you) Other females pick up on this and a weird kind of jealousy thing starts up.

Here's my example: I went to a bar with some friends of mine. We got our table, and I told my buddy I was going to borrow his girlfriend for about 10 minutes. We walked around the bar, stopping here and there to say a few words to different groups. I winked at every cute girl I walked past. We conversed with a few hotties, and then moved on. In 10 minutes, we covered the whole bar, with everyone in the place seeing me with a hot girl on my arm. The entire rest of the night, I didn't even have to open sets. Sets came up and opened me. I could walk around, and talk to these groups I've already made contact with, and was able to be friendly without trying to pickup girls. They thought I was taken. One blonde (HB10) approached and was the most flirty I've ever had a 10 be towards me. I couldn't believe my eyes. All from the Power of a Pivot.

So here's the lesson. When you go out for an evening of sarging, bring a woman with you. The social status it gives you means more than anything you could say or show. Women see you with another woman, and they think you must have status to be with such a beautiful woman. They don't do any kind of checking or judging for themselves, they let the woman you are with do that for them. Such a strange form of chick logic. Sometimes it is funny how women think.

-Blade

Kino

Kinesthetics (Kino) is the art of touching. And yes, it is an Art. Touching a woman in the wrong way can ruin everything you've built between the two of you. But, touching a woman the right way, at the right time, can spark attraction faster and stronger than almost anything else you can do. Kino is a powerful instrument if played correctly. But can be catastrophic if done wrong, or if ignored and not done at all.

Kino is the single most important tool I added to my repertiore that has given me the success with women that I wanted. I cannot underscore the importance of Kino in attracting women. For years I could approach a woman, and have deep, meaningful conversation. I could excite her senses. I could use the power of language to create attraction, but I was still hit-and-miss with most women because I was missing one single ingredient. After years of experience, I've learned one simple truth.

Kino is the difference between getting the girl and not getting the girl.

I had a roommate several years back that was a wonder with women. He would bring home a different girl to sleep with five nights out of the week. During this time, I tried to pick his brain and learn what he was doing that worked so well. Unfortunately, he wasn't good at articulating what he was doing. He was one of those guys that had great natural game, but didn't know the what or why behind it. There are several good nuggets of knowledge he did pass on, though. The most important being Kino. He didn't call it that, but that was what he was talking about. He told me I wasn't touching the girls, and he was right. I was timid about touching. Almost shy. Which is a great irony, because I was fearless with just about everything else in my life.

So I started touching women when I talked to them. A gentle hand on the shoulder when I wanted to make a point. Putting my hand in the small of their back when I was playful. At first I was REALLY BAD at doing this, and he made one clear comment. "What you did wasn't natural....It was creepy." That hit home hard. Creepy. No one had ever used that word to describe me. (At least to my face) So I learned the most important lesson about Kino. Be Natural. Don't be Creepy. You'll seem like a guy that's hiding something, or worse, a pervert.
This brings me to my next point. Good Kino is dependent on how she perceives the interaction. Is she threatened by you touching her? If the answer is yes, then you've done something wrong. Gauge her response when you touch her. This is important. If you're not gauging, then you're running blind, and likely to make a HUGE mistake somewhere. Kino should be flirty, innocent, intimate, almost sexual, warm and friendly. It should seem natural. How do you get to that 'Natural' state? You should do this so often with so many people you don't even think about it...then it becomes second nature. It just happens.

So when do you start in with the Kino? If you're talking to her, you should have already started Kino. When you introduce yourself, don't shake hands, Hug her. I usually throw a line like "I don't do hand-shakes....give me a hug." This initiates Kino from the begining, and she's already used to being touched by you, so later, when you put your hand in the small of her back, she doesn't feel threatened by you suddenly becoming touchy-feely. Sometimes it's not possible to go straight into Kino, but you should wait no longer than 2 minutes into the conversation. If you haven't touched her by then, it's too late. You've already been pegged as a shy guy.

There are lots of places to touch a woman that will be intimate, but not sexual. This is the goal you're aiming for. Intimate means a familiarity and trust between the two of you. If it comes across as sexual to early, she'll pull away. Some common things I like to do are brushing something out of her hair, taking my finger and running it along her hair line to her ear, touching the back of her neck, in between her fingers, the inside of her elbows, or the top of her knee. (If she's sitting down next to you) Her hips are also an intimate zone that most women like when a man touches them there. Just Calibrate what you're doing to the situation.

Kino is the sort of thing that will make a HUGE difference in the way you interact with women. Like I said earlier, Kino is the difference between getting the girl, and not getting the girl. It also takes a while to master, especially if you don't do it now. If you're learning, be prepared to be shot down quite a bit. But also be prepared to watch in amazement as the women warm up to you, and actually start touching you back. That's when you know you've got it. Just remember, gauge her response, and act accordingly.

-Blade

Pickup is not about Women

Pickup is not about Women. It's about building yourself into a better, more powerful, more attractive person. Do this, and the women will flock to you. "If you build it, She will come."

So how do you build yourself into a better person? The most important thing to understand, is that this will not happen overnight. It is a long process, a constant struggle, and one that you will never truly complete. You can work at this your entire life and still have room for improvement.

When first got into Pickup, it was about trying to get as many women into bed as possible. I wanted to get laid. Although that goal has come true, I realized very shortly that sex wasn't what I REALLY wanted. It was nice to have, but what gave me strength was the skills I gained while trying to pickup women. These skills transfer over to so many other parts of my life.
Work, Play, Partying, being social with others, and understanding group dynamics all improved my quality of life. And these things, more than learning "Pickup", have helped me actually meet and attract the type of women that I want. I improved other areas of my life. I made myself into a more rounded and powerful person. I can go into any type of social situation and be comfortable, calm, and commanding. It gives me an inner strength that can't be taken away. These are lifelong skills that I'm glad I have.

There was a time in my life when I poured all my energy into computers. I was a total geek. I lived and breathed programming, web-pages, the internet, and just computer skills in general. I was very successful at what I did. I had a high-paying job, made lots of money, but something was missing. I wasn't interacting with people. I just sat in front of a computer for 12 hours a day. So although I had spent enormous time and effort in my professional life, other areas suffered.
I made lots of money, but women aren't attracted to money. (It helps, but money alone will not do it.) I wasn't happy with my life, so I changed.

Skip forward a few years. I got into pickup, and I poured all my energy into this new lifestyle. I read everything I could get my hands on. I watched DVDs. I listened to Audio Seminars. I went out almost every night (When I wasn't studying pickup). The result? I became very good at initial conversation, and attraction. But I couldn't keep a woman for more than a week. I was suffering from the same problem as the computers. I wasn't well rounded. I put all my energy and resources into ONE thing. It is very easy to get caught up in the world of pickup and not work on other areas. This is a fatal mistake a lot guys out there are making. Women are not attracted to a good conversationalist. (It helps, but like money, this alone will not do it.) Again, I wasn't happy with my life. I needed to change again.

What do I do now? I have a LIFE. I LIVE everyday to its fullest. I go out with friends, I work, I play, I party. I do something different all the time. I improve myself at every opportunity. I don't concentrate on one thing at the expense of everything else in my life. Pickup is not about women. Pickup is about improving yourself in all areas of your life. When that happens, the women will be waiting in line just to be near you and the success that follows you wherever you go. Improve yourself, find your purpose in life, and follow that path!
The rest will fall into place.

-Blade

Power

Ever heard a woman say "I wish I could find a nice guy to date."? Yet, they don't date nice guys, they always go for the 'Bad Boys' that walk all over them? There are literally millions of 'Nice guys' out there that would absolutely die to be able to date the blonde bombshell with big boobs. So why aren't the ladies dating the nice guys? There are several reasons for this:

1. Nice guys are exactly that. Nice. They don't want to upset anyone or step on any toes. They don't want to get the snot beaten out of them, so they become nice, shy, timid males that are not a threat to the Alpha Males around them. "No, I'm not hitting on your girl, so please don't beat me up!" This is a defense mechanism so that the social groups will accept them. Women can SMELL when a man is like this. They see it in the way you stand, the way you talk to others, and the way they are timid when it comes to talking to a beautiful woman. Women can sense that you aren't being honest, that you are hiding something. What are you hiding? The fact that you want her. She already KNOWS this, but you still try to hide it from her. That's Dishonest.

2. Nice guys may know what they want, but are too afraid to go and take it. Women want a MAN. A man knows what he wants and goes after it. If he doesn't, then he's not a man, he's a 'Nice Guy'. Be BOLD. Take a chance. Be Alpha. Do something that shows you're not afraid. Tell her she's Sexy. (Women want to hear this more than anything!) Nice guys don't do this, and where do they always end up? The "Friend Zone".

3. Nice guys put the woman on a higher social status than themselves. They keep women up on these ridiculously high pedestals, looking up, admiring them. Women don't want to have to tell a guy it's ok to chase them. Then the guys aren't chasing the women, the women are chasing the guys, and nothing turns a woman off faster. Women WANT to be taken. They want to be swept off their feet. It's part of the prince-charming, Knight-in-shining-armor fantasy. What do those guys do? They TAKE the woman. They do NOT attempt to 'buy' her love with gifts or flowers or chocolates. They just Dominate.

4. Nice guys are NOT alpha. Men are programmed to go after young, fertile females. It increases the chances of having offspring that will be strong and healthy. Women are programmed the same way to go after the males with high social status. It increases the chances that their offspring will make it. Alpha males are the pack leaders. Nice guys are that way because they are trying to fit into the social circle in a place BEHIND the pack leader. Lead the men, and the women will follow. Remember: Social Status.

What is High social status? There are several things that fall into this category. Ten thousand years ago, it was the strong men that could protect the pack (and the women) from the saber-tooth tiger. Big Muscles and a strong vitality were most important. But today, things have changed. There are no Saber-tooth Tigers running around eating the weak, sickly people. Big Muscles aren't as important anymore. (They still play a part, but VERY little) There soon came a point where the SMART guy that knew how to make tools and fire became the leader. Brains counted more than Brawn. But those days quickly passed as well.

Skip forward to modern times. What defines High status today? One simple word: POWER.
Let me say that again to make sure you've got it:
POWER

Today, there are many different kinds of power, which is why 'Nice guys' get confused. Some kinds are the same as it was thousands of years ago. Brute strength. Brains. But how about Money? Bill Gates has High Social status. Not because he's strong, but because he's rich. That is a form of Power. So Nice guys think "If I'm rich, women will want me." This is partially true. I know tons of guys that make A$$loads of money, but still can't attract a woman. What about Bill Clinton? He's not rich or strong, but still attracts women because of his high social status. He was the leader of the free world. Leaders have POWER.

There is also another kind of Power. One that comes from inside, that tells the world "Don't Fuck with me." It's in the way you stand, the way you talk, the way you present yourself to the world. Part of it is Confidence. Part of it is Internal Fortitude, Moral strength, Values, Ideals, the physical attributes we've discussed, and yes, Money. It's the whole package. You can make do without several of these, as long as you have others in abundance. But it's almost impossible to attract a woman with just one of these things. You simply don't have enough POWER.

So what makes a nice guy? Simply put: Lack of POWER. If you're a nice guy, you need to work on giving yourself power in whatever form you are lacking. Some guys need to work out and be stronger. Some guys need more money. Some guys need education. MOST guys need to work on the inner power. It's the difference between being the social center and being a chump. Henry Kissinger, President Nixon's National Security Advisor once said "Power is the Ultimate Aphrodesiac." How absolutely True.