First Impressions

Bearing and First Impressions

When you meet someone for the first time, within the first 20 seconds, that person has made certain judgements about you. We all do it, and women are especially good at doing this. This is one reason stereotypes are as powerful as they are, and why they are extremely difficult to overcome.

According to a recent study from Yale University, there are 4 things ALL people judge you on within those first crucial 20 seconds. In order of strength and importance they are:

1. Sex
2. Skin Color
3. Age
4. Bearing

Now the first three, nobody can do anything about. But they do cloud our judgement of others. Are you talking to a man or a woman? Believe it or not, it matters. Most people behave differently around members of the opposite sex. Next is skin color. This is an age-old problem, and being the irrational creatures we are, one of the easiest and fastest ways of making people "different" is to look at skin color. There's nothing anyone can do about it, and in today's society, it is becoming less important, but it's still number 2 on the list. Then there is age. It makes a difference whether you are chatting with an 18 year old, or a 40 year old. They have different experiences. They most likely are members of a different generation. Youth have uncorrupted values and ideals. An older person knows that the world is not idealistic, but rather hard and unforgiving. Lastly comes the thing I want to really talk about: Bearing.

Bearing is the thing that women are REALLY good at judging from the onset. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, all people have you sized up in 15 seconds or less. They've already made their judgement about what kind of person you are based on those 4 things. But what is bearing? Let me ask a few questions and you tell me. How do you stand? How do you walk? Do you speak well? Are you well groomed? Do you have straight teeth? Are you wearing nice shoes? These (and other) small and subtle things all play a part in letting a woman know whether you are a man of quality. If you display the proper bearing, or if you are a submissive type, she's already made her decision about you. (for good or bad) Bearing has the unfortunate position of being 4th on the list, so it is the last thing people look at in their first impression. But, it also has the ability to overpower the predispositions and prejudices of the previous three. If your bearing is strong, and your personality congruent with it, attraction will almost always happen, regardless of your age or skin color.

So how do you improve your bearing? This is most certainly an inner-game issue. Are you confident in who you are? Do you display the proper attributes of an Alpha male? Do you have strength of character?Do you have Power, or are you a chump? It has taken you your entire life with all of its experiences to form you into the person you are today. Changing your bearing takes a while to undo the ingrained patterns and habits that have taken you a lifetime to build. Don't expect it to happen overnight. But it can happen; Slowly, deliberately changing the things you do to make your person into a new you.

-Blade